Adults have routines in place, that’s just part of being an actual adult. When it comes to sex or sensuality though the idea of having a routine suddenly seems ridiculous but experts agree that having a set time and date for sex or for being sexy can actually save more relationships than not.
If you are very young you might be thinking that this is a ridiculous idea and for those in new relationships too. The truth is those intense feelings you have now and that need to have sex does dwindle a bit the longer you are together and if you let sex fall to the wayside you might eventually be left with sexless relationships that will inevitably end. So, why not create a routine where you two make the commitment to each other to please each other on the regular. It doesn’t have to be as strict as saying ‘every Monday at this hour we have 15 minutes for sex’ but more along the lines of going out to new places, doing new things, meeting new people and giving yourself the opportunity to please each other.
If you need help starting then why not have a monthly tantric massage appointment where you will be able to be intimate in ways you might not even have realized were possible. Your masseuse might also be able to give you ideas for ‘homework’ to do that will bring both of you closer and able to set time aside from each other.
Never underestimate the power physical touch has on a relationship and never think it too weird to want that for yourself. Setting time aside shouldn’t be seen as a failure but as a proactive way to keep your marriage sane and happy. Also, by having this time together set aside you can always prepare little things for each other to just be spontaneous and surprising!
We need to stop thinking of routines as something boring or something that can destroy your life. Even the most spontaneous people I know have some kind of routine because otherwise you kind of feel lost in your life. Sex is no different, sure there should be some spontaneous aspects but stablishing routines is actually good for us.