Communication doesn’t have to mean words, in fact most of us only use words to communicate less than half the times we do want to communicate. Tantric massages seek to tap into that soundless communication and instead focus on a more personal and intimate form of it. For some people that includes an inner dialogue or more like a sense of understanding between them and their bodies.
However, this doesn’t mean that that will always be the case. Sometimes we need to communicate with others during sensual situations and while that communication can also be wordless it doesn’t mean that it can be all about inner monologue.
To begin this one technique I enjoy is to face each other while sitting, in lotus position or however you are most comfortable. The rest is simple, just take the time to look into each other’s eyes for three to five minutes. Remember the saying the eyes are the windows to the soul? Well that’s what soul gazing is all about. This isn’t a staring contest, though so if you need to blink or move a bit don’t be afraid to do so.
The most important thing here is to simply not speak for the duration of the meditation. What will happen is that we will begin to notice subtle changes in the other person as all outside sources are softened and your focus is simply on the other person. If this is something new for you and your partner and it seems a little daunting then perhaps try playing a song that is relaxing, that you both like and that is a least three minutes long.
You will both realize how short of a timeframe this actually is and start getting a feel for doing this more often. It is okay to feel a bit embarrassed but this is what intimacy is all about. It isn’t just about the steamier moments but also about the moments when you can just look into each other’s eyes and feel connected and present.